Clear Sky, 91°F

Tonight I get to see KISS I was feeling bad because my hubby didn’t have a ticket, but his friend won tickets as well so we all get to go then next week it’s road trip to see ghost, been a good summer, now if my new Dr tomorrow turns out to be a blessing it’ll be an amazing summer I’m so tired of living in pain, I want my life back I want out of the watcher mode and back into living stuck in a rut counting pills, waiting on pain meds to kick in, then realizing that’s really not going to happen then start all over again it’s exhausting! Just stick a patch on me and let me go, or at least tell me why I feel like shit all the time just do something other then sign the same old script and expect something different to happen. I want to remember, what it was like to sleep at night, to get up in wonderment about the coming day, to greet the sun, to enjoy retirement! I want to live again to move again to love again…. I feel like I’ve been wanting every since my son died. Even tho I fully except his death, his not coming back, I’ve stopped crying all the time but the joy of life has really never returned, maybe I’ve had my full happiness, maybe I just need to stop wanting……

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